Waiting rooms

… are the bane of my existence.  As JoyMama can attest.

A few weeks ago Rhema had a neurology appointment. She was hyper seeking a lot of sensory input. I chased her around the waiting room as she hurdled chairs (with people sitting in them), jumped on the table, and tossed children’s books on the floor. Thankfully, Hope was content to read each book Rhema tossed on the floor with a “Don’ frow things, Rhema!”

Rhema was walking across the tops of chairs when she walked over a man innocently reading his newspaper.

I rushed over. “I’m sorry,” I said to him. He nodded, not looking up from his paper.

“Rhema. Sit. Down.”

Rhema sat down.

In the chair next to Newspaper Man.

I went over to Hope who was still “reading” on the floor. I looked over to Rhema and saw that she had casually placed her hand on Newspaper Man’s thigh. She was humming to herself.

Oh Lord.

Just as I was heading back over to Rhema, Hope stood and announced to the occupants of the waiting room with deep conviction:

“I pooped in my diaper.”

The sudden odor in the room supported her claim.

Instantly she had me by the hand and was dragging me toward the bathroom (the opposite direction of Rhema).

Just then Rhema hawked a huge sneeze. She caught the wad in her hands.

The rest of the scene unfolded in slow mo.

Rhema opened her hands, peered curiously at her green wad of snot and then slowly began rubbing her hands together. Because she’s been practicing hand-washing, you see. And this is what you do.

Then she opened her hands and inspected them. She methodically licked the remaining snot off her palms.

Oh no, I thought.

I was already running towards her even though I knew it was too late.

She happily placed her right hand on Newspaper Man’s thigh and resumed humming.

20 thoughts on “Waiting rooms

  1. And the curtain closes on yet another scintillating waiting-room adventure! LOL!

    Thing is, the mama-blogger actually has to survive the “what happens next”…

    I hope that Newspaper Man didn’t go too ballistic.

    BTW (and thanks for the link), I just got e-mail from a local blog-reading friend in response to my eye-clinic post. Just from my account, she GUESSED what clinic it was. And recommended somewhere else. Amazing.

  2. Jeneil, I wish you, Rhema, and Hope had been in the waiting room at my neurologist’s office last week! It was just too boring in there!! 🙂

    You have such a descriptive way of writing; I have a little movie in my mind every time I read your posts!

    The Lord specifically placed Rhema beside Newspaper Man. Wonder what he was supposed to learn/teach?

    Friday blessings! 🙂

  3. Oh girl! Good thing God has given you the gift of humor!!

    Kids WILL keep us humble won’t they? 😉

    Just think of how your memoirs will read one day….

  4. OH my gosh!!!!!!!!!!! I am on the floor………
    Our kids do require parents with a certain sense of humor.

    Whew! I needed that. Im so sorry that was as exhausting as it felt as I read, but it was certainly worthy of laughter on my end.

  5. That was the BEST laugh I have had in a long time. I needed that!!!!! These are the moments that bond ALL moms together. 🙂 I love it; the joys of motherhood. There is too much “serious” in life…….we need moments like these to smile and laugh (although it may not seem funny at the time.)
    Janeil….your girls are beautiful and you are awesome!

  6. Oh gosh, I just posted about my waiting room experience (Kayla jumping into the laps of random strangers) but yours beat mine, snot filled hands down!!

  7. See what happens when you teach them about handwashing!

    I think everyone has a snot story. I remember Becca wiping her nose on the butt of the mother of one of the kids in her preschool class. I didn’t know about it until much later and always wondered why the mother brushed off my attempts to arrange playdates and practically ran in the other direction when she saw us coming her way.

  8. oh my word!!!!!!! the fact that this blog didn’t end with the man having a nervous breakdown and leaving the office makes me think he must be a saint. YOU TOO. It was one of those days for sure! Some day you’ll look back on this and laugh and hopefully newspaper man will too.

  9. Oh no, that is gross and funny at the same time, I hope the newspaper guy was ok about it…

    I hear ya on waiting rooms… we actually had one doctor’s office ask us not to bring our boys at the same time anymore. Back when we just had the two! Pinging off the walls was (and still is to a slightly lesser extent) their specialty. (For the record, we just quit going there altogether and found another dr.)

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