Excuse Me

bathroom-stalls

 

I expect my girls to be polite and mannerly.

Hope, however, surprises me with her bathroom humor. I didn’t teach her any of it, so I’m always startled (and amused) by the stuff she comes up with while sitting on the potty.

Like many children, she seems to think the passage of gas is just about the most hilarious thing to happen in her day.

And she will do it at the most inopportune times. In the presence of others, I will act shocked that my child could do such a thing and I’ll say, “Hope! You need to say…”

And she will dutifully supply an ‘Excuse me.’

 

Rhema had a neurology appointment last week.

We arrive early, and I shuffle the girls into the bathroom. The bathroom is small with just two stalls. One stall is occupied, so we cram into the other one with all our bags and jackets.

Hope settles onto the toilet, and all is quiet.

Suddenly a “bottom burp” sounds from the other stall.

Hope dissolves into giggles.

I shake my head at her fiercely, begging her with my eyes to maintain some couth.

She sobers.

Then she leans toward the thin wall and asks the occupant of the other stall,

“What do you say???”

Silence.

Her voice has my patronizining tone as she calls out again,

“What do you say?”

I’m not saying a word. The occupant on the other side isn’t budging either.

Hope is expectant. She enunciates each word as if she doesn’t get an answer someone’s going to be in trouble.

“What.do.you.say???”

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36 thoughts on “Excuse Me

  1. lololol!! i actually have a post on a similar topic this week .. must be going around .. i LOVE hope’s sense of propriety and etiquette. actually, i just love hope.

  2. HA!!!!

    I’m tempted to write a story here, but it’s a little over the top. We’ll talk later.

    I love Hope and the levity she brings to you!!

  3. Hilarious!!! I LOVE this! Of course we have our own bathroom humor specialist. And he thinks saying excuse me for something so funny is ridiculous. Hope just brightens my day.

  4. Pingback: Lacking inspiration | A little piece of heaven

  5. I am literally laughing out loud teary-eyed right now. And my son is looking at me sitting at my computer… that look that says, “you finally lost it”.

    I just LOVE that she said that! Can you imagine how mortified the other stall occupant had to be??

    Too stinkin’ hilarious (pun fully intended).

    Thanks for joining in – I love your style!

  6. O.K. never mind this all being good enough for just a book. You guys are a reality t.v. show worth watching!! My girl will keep us laughing forever. What a joy she is. What a delicious surprise. I love you love you Hope and Rhema Beans!

  7. I am Rolling on the floor LAUGHING! this is the BEST story! 🙂 oh my gosh… i am crying with LAUGHTER now! (you always do make me cry…)
    I am a sucker for fart stories, etc. i am like a 5 year old girl giggling whenever anyone farts or i hear a story about a fart. I am very juvinille. this made my day! 🙂

  8. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE READ IN A LONG TIME. I laughed so hard I had to have the hubs stop a movie we were watching to read it to him. We both laughed. I had tears in my eyes. LOL. I’m still laughing now. (I’m tweeting this).

  9. I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed the picture from this post. I have linked it back to this page and given it proper credit with a mouse over explanation of the origin of the picture. It was perfect for my page and I also really enjoyed the story I read on here. Children really do say the darnest things!

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