Excuse Me

 

I expect my girls to be polite and mannerly.

Hope, however, surprises me with her bathroom humor. I didn’t teach her any of it, so I’m always startled (and amused) by the stuff she comes up with while sitting on the potty.

Like many children, she seems to think the passage of gas is just about the most hilarious thing to happen in her day.

And she will do it at the most inopportune times. In the presence of others, I will act shocked that my child could do such a thing and I’ll say, “Hope! You need to say…”

And she will dutifully supply an ‘Excuse me.’

 

Rhema had a neurology appointment last week.

We arrive early, and I shuffle the girls into the bathroom. The bathroom is small with just two stalls. One stall is occupied, so we cram into the other one with all our bags and jackets.

Hope settles onto the toilet, and all is quiet.

Suddenly a “bottom burp” sounds from the other stall.

Hope dissolves into giggles.

I shake my head at her fiercely, begging her with my eyes to maintain some couth.

She sobers.

Then she leans toward the thin wall and asks the occupant of the other stall,

“What do you say???”

Silence.

Her voice has my patronizining tone as she calls out again,

“What do you say?”

I’m not saying a word. The occupant on the other side isn’t budging either.

Hope is expectant. She enunciates each word as if she doesn’t get an answer someone’s going to be in trouble.

“What.do.you.say???”