written a couple years ago, still true today
God, I really want to know what you have to say about autism.
Learns differently, “hard to teach”
Seizures in the brain, gut issues
When is she hurting?
Wish everyone knew what this was like
for a day, for a night
So hard to be here
Out of order
Alone, cannot share
Torment, stim, stim, stim
How do I let it go God
How do I be at peace
What do I do with this hope, and facing reality, and all the days ahead
Can’t help but be sad for the things I’ve missed with her
But I still believe
in the middle of the night
I’m so tired
I’m so thankful
I have you
I have her
Speak to my heart
Give me the Word that will bring new life
Lord, will I get a miracle like that?
And then she smiles…
I know I already have it.
Have to keep believing there is something amazing. And it will be You, all You.
That’s the one thing I know for sure.