From the moment she wakes, she is making sounds. High and low, up and down, soft and loud and soft. She sings and hums, she babbles repetitively; sounds that cannot accurately be represented through typed letters. It is, as one woman put, incessant.
During the day, it becomes background music. At bedtime, it can be annoying. But I am most aware of it when we are in public. Once, I was told that she was “distracting the other children.” But there is no stopping it. There is no silencing her.
Her vocalizations were once hurtful, indicating an altered brain, and the fact that I, her own mother, had no idea if she was speaking words I should recognize or if she was just making noise.
In the past, I clumped all of her “noises” in the category of vocal stimming. Recently, I’ve started seeing it as one of her languages, her primary language. (Hope was actually the first one to help me see it as a language – she used to mimic Rhema’s sounds back to her. And then I watched Amanda Baggs‘ profound video, and it forever changed my thinking about communication.)
It occurred to me that while it is so important to me that she learn to speak and understand my language (and I am so appreciative when she does), it’s just as important that I learn hers. So I’ve been practicing when she’s asleep or at school, trying to say things the way she says them and when she says them. When I sing a string to her, she doesn’t always look me in the eye, but she grins a soft grin. Sometimes she repeats it back to me. Sometimes she just giggles.
As I wrote in Song Without Words, I realize that I don’t have to know the meanings of the words in her language. Often she is prompted to repeat words in my language whether she understands the meaning or not. The hope is that she will understand the meaning in time. Perhaps I will understand the meaning of her words in time.
Sometimes she is so busy talking in her language, she does not listen well… to me or to her teachers. She has to be shushed to hear what we are saying. Sometimes I am so busy talking in my language, I do not listen well. I have to be shushed to hear what she is saying.
But when I hear it, really hear it, I feel like the most blessed mother of all, because her lovely chorus fills my days.
Here’s a sample of my daughter’s beautiful song, her voice, her language. It’s called “I Want Rice.”
“My language is not about designing words or even visual symbols for people to interpret. It is about being in a constant conversation with every aspect of my environment, reacting physically to all parts of my surroundings.” ~ Amanda Baggs
You are the best mother of all. I am so blessed to have you as my wife.
I have to say, she has a beautiful, beautiful voice! Both the hubs and I watched this.
She clearly is singing something to you. Sometimes, most times, I wish I could have a pass into our children’s lives to understand them better. Upon my return ticket, I would love to share that knowledge and help us all with our kids…but alas, I have no pass, none of us have that ticket…so until then, we can listen to their beautiful songs.
She truly has the voice of an angel. And what a lovely, amazing song. Thank you for sharing her with us!
And…I miss you, Rhema…so good to see you and hear your voice.
Love,
Daddy
I love that you are trying to learn HER language. I don’t know if many people would have thought of that. You are truly a beautiful person and such a great mom. You and your family continue to be in my prayers.
And Rhema has such an angelic little voice.
Blessings to you all!
Beautiful. Just beautiful. You are so wise.
She is beautiful, and her song is sweet. Did she get rice off-camera?
Yea, I know communication is the topic, but I’ve just got to own-up to the fact that I like to watch children move. She moves very well.
My heart sings a little to see comments from BLR. The internet is a gift from God for communication.
Ooops. I’m off topic again. No analysis of my ‘language’ please! 😉
You are a wonderful Mom to begin to learn her language-she will thank you one day-of that I am sure. She has a beautiful voice!!
She couldn’t be more beautiful. Inside and out.
I loved starting the day off with hearing her voice this morning.
Thank you so much for the link. I too am transformed by that video, as well as the one you provided of your beautiful girl.
We have the same experience with Jack! It’s the warmest, fuzziest feeling in the world.
She is a gorgeous girl, with so much to say!!!
He voice is SO beautiful. I needed to hear that the constant song is a blessing 🙂
I was so annoyed with my computer, don’t know what’s going on with it as I am sooo not technical but when my speakers weren’t working I couldn’t hear this video….whatever occurred it came back. So very happy to finally hear Rhema’s beautiful voice. God is working amazingly in your lives…thank you for all words and sharing God’s miracles with us.
I love you my friend!!
Shannon
Finn really enjoyed Rhema’s song – me too! I think you’re just brilliant to continue to meet Rhema on her level.
What a beautiful girl. What a beautiful family.
love.
“Sometimes I am so busy talking in my language, I do not listen well. I have to be shushed to hear what she is saying.”
Sometimes, J, you take the words right out of my head before I even realize I am thinking them.
Reaching out from TX to give you a cyber-hug. 🙂
Leah
What a beautiful voice she has. I was so blessed to hear here sing all morning yesterday. It was a LOVELY song. 🙂
I love that you are Rhema’s student learning what she has to teach us all. I love her dance as much as her song! Your realization makes me recall the Kaufman’s book, Sonrise. It’s a good encouraging classic from the library. xo
Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
you are a FABULOUS mum !
what an enchanting fairy voice she does have
So true it is that we need to walk in their shoes – in the same way we expect them to walk in ours
Can I link this post to my blog?
Christian was just drawn-in watching this video of Rhema. 🙂
Thank you, Jeneil, for letting me post this!
(And, yes, I could believe in arranged marriages. 😉 )
I want to join in the song with Rhema. She’s teaching me something I’ve never learned before. Thank you for sharing her with me.
On a completely unrelated note, I have the same microwave and dish drainer as you! See how observant I am?
peace~elaine
Thanks for the peek at Rehma, I have been reading about her for awhile and seen a couple of pictures but viedo really lets you see her in a way that you can not otherwise. She is beautiful and endearing. I loved your post today.
brandon already said it all. amen.
You have such wisdom, J, in how you parent Rhema. Learning her language is such a beautiful thing to do. Thank you for letting us see this little glimpse of her.
How sweet. I read somewhere an autistic person likened his experience to having to learn a different language and culture to fit into our world. It is nice that you are trying to fit into your daughter’s world.
What a beautiful way to start my morning! Thank you Rhema and Jeneil!
She is so precious. This post reminded me of the Sonrise book by Barry Kaufman. The family joined their child in his world, and eventually he joined them in theirs.
Love.
that little one of yours is a gift. thank you for sharing these glimpses, sounds. most people have to make due with the language of others. she has her own way of sounding out of the world, a truly individual language. quite perfect.
(i like that she accompanies each song with a spin).
I love the song and the singer.
She is B E A U T I F U L.
A beautiful girl with a beautiful voice :). So sweet, thanks for sharing!
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