The Ice Breaker

Are you a little shy? Want to meet someone new? Looking for that great conversation starter? Need more confidence? Want to feel good about yourself?

For a very small fee, my daughter will introduce you to all sorts of random people, help you make memorable memories, give you plenty to talk about, and change your life forever!

But hey, don’t take my word for it…

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Testimonial #1: Big Poppa

“No one told him when he’d jumped into the pool that he’d also entered Autism Land.” ~Jess, Diary of a Mom

I was just sitting in the wading pool, you know?

You may wonder what a big ol’ guy in his swimming trunks like me is doing sitting in the kiddie pool. But I was minding my own business, taking in some rays, ‘chillin’ out, maxing, relaxing all cool…’

When out of nowhere, this girl, seven or eight or nine or ten maybe, comes over and climbs into my lap! She makes no introductions, no sounds. She just plunks on down, and there we are face to face. And she’s particularly intrigued by the texture of curly hair on my impressive gut! Lemme tell you, I’m a little shocked and disturbed. I start back-pedaling in the water, even though I’m sitting, right? But the girl, she holds on! And then she starts humming a really strange song.

The mother races over.

She apologizes and tries to pull her daughter up.

The kid won’t let go of me!

I’m totally baffled. The mom explains that the girl has autism and that they’re, uh, ‘working on boundaries.’ Yeah, no kidding.

But then I lighten up, and while the kid sits on my lap and inspects my chest, the mom and I have a really nice convo about the weather.*

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Testimonial #2: WaterWoman

My friend and I are sitting on a park bench, deep in conversation.

I notice this cute young girl jump off the monkey bars and head our way. To my surprise she comes over and sits right next to me. I mean, right next to me. Not even teeny weeny space between us.

Her mother comes over.

“Hi,” she says to us.

“Hi,” we say.

She stands there for a while watching her daughter. The three of us sit there on the bench. No one says a word, and it’s a bit awkward.

“Um, Rhema. Let’s go, babe,” says Mom.

But the girl won’t budge.

Bless her heart, the mother tries to strike up a conversation with us:

“I mean, can it get any hotter???” Chuckle, chuckle.

Then Rhema, that’s her name, sees a water bottle in my bag. She goes for it.

“Nooooo. That’s not yours, honey. We’ll get you your OWN water,” says Mom.  They wrestle over my water, and I’m not sure what to do.

The girl, she holds on.

She manages to get the top off and takes a good, long swig.

“It’s ok,” I say to her mama. “She was really thirsty, huh!”

It feels so good to share!*

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Testimonial #3: Expert Dater

It’s our first date, and we’ve just arrived at a Boston restaurant. As we wait to be seated, I hear a commotion at the door. It
appears that a child is trying to escape, and two adults are trying to restrain her! It seems odd that such a big girl would be carrying on like this.

All of a sudden, she lunges toward my date as if sliding into first. She grabs onto his leg for dear life. The mother tries to pry her off, but…

The girl, she holds on.

I see this as my golden opportunity. I good-naturedly slap my date’s shoulder and bat my eyelashes.

“Gosh, women are always throwing themselves at you!”

He laughs. I laugh.

After his leg is freed, we have a great dinner.*

Call 1-800-ICE-BRKR today!

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Photo Credit: http://www.mtv.com/photos/rob-and-big-bigs-belly-shots/1576027/2696247/photo.jhtml, http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-27206923/stock-photo-beautiful-woman-holding-a-water-bottle-bottle-in-focus-model-out-of-focus-isolated-on-white.html, http://www.moviefanatic.com/gallery/a-dinner-date/
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23 thoughts on “The Ice Breaker

  1. I love how you can look back on this with such a sense of humor 🙂 We’re always asking people to put themselves in our shoes, right? I’ll hire Rhema any day 🙂

  2. I can so relate. G.T. always tries to sit us down to have lunch with some nice young man when we have a fast food meal. It makes for some funny conversations and different shades of red or pink showing up on my face.

    And the day my grandson stood up and yelled for everyone to be quiet because he was trying to eat his dinner (at McDonalds). I tried to aplogize and sat him down explaining why we couldn’t do that. Later in the play area I explained to one Mom that he was autistic and she confided in me that her daughter had just been diagnosed. I think God had a hand in that one, perhaps she needed a word of encouragement or to know that one day my grandson was speechless as well.

    Rhema is a super-awesome poster-child for autism and I see you as her voice. Keep up the good team work girls.

  3. Oh, can I see it all — oh, yeah, because I HAVE SEEN IT ALL!!!!!!

    Girl, you need to live closer. Were we really. Born just one day apart??? 1975?????

    Hugs,
    Leah

  4. when you have to choose to laugh or cry, might as well laugh. A cheerful heart does good like a medicine. I’ve been the girl on that date. And that man in the pool. Now I’m the Mom pulling the kid away (or rather apologizing for the rude comments). There are strangers out there who care.

  5. I have been there so many times. We all have.

    We go through number two a lot. I particularly like it when one of my twins creates just one of these diversions so that the other twin can do something else equally outrageous. If there is food or dink involved, I swear they plan it. One distracts you while the other sneaks in to steal an unguarded Coke or bag of chips or candy. And then they chase each other trying to get it all to themselves after they have stolen in from some unsuspecting bystander.

    Thankfully most of their victims are friendly and will laugh and shake their head with me.

  6. Well, I thought of this post over the lunch hour. My daughter and I were sitting at the Bordeux lunch counter when Nick hopped over for a visit. He was making his rounds throughout the store and his mother was a few seats down from me with her head on the counter. He kept shouting “Mom! Mom!” and she wasn’t responding. He then noticed me and my daughter watching “The Price is Right.” Swiftly he took up residency next to us and proceeded to tell me the rules of “spinning the wheel.” He is 32, and he touched my heart. When his mother made her apologies to me with her “I’m sorry; he has autism”… I said, “I know.” When she asked me how I “knew”, I told her I know “Rhema”.

    It was enough of a response to ease her anxiety. I watched them through the window as they made their way to the car, Nick hanging onto his weary momma. I said a prayer, sister. It’s all I know to do.

    peace~elaine

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