Every reason, this hope

“It is good to come together
in our friendship to remember
all the reasons hope is in our hearts”
~Sara Groves

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We watch her as she sits at the table. My mind travels back to days after her birth when the yucky umbilical cord fell off, and beneath I discovered her perfect little belly button. Masterfully woven and spun by God, He made her real good. Perfect from head to toe.

We take in every detail now, the way she’s colored like a warm chai latte, the way her thick mass of curls catch twigs and lint and spaghetti sauce, the Cindy Crawford mole above her lip … and those eyes, those huge, endless eyes.

The husband sighs. I know that wistful sigh, what he’s thinking, what he’s missing.

I think sometimes it hurts to look at her.

Because all at once we remember there are electrical storms and crossed wires in that pretty head. We remember there are things she wants to say – that the brain and mouth prevent, and sometimes all she can do is scream. We remember we must make a place for her in a world that is especially uneasy for a girl like her. We remember that she needs constant one-on-one support. We remember that while her peers are reading and writing and playing soccer, she is still trying to learn to say her name and the letters of the alphabet. We remember our heavy hearts when we think of the future we don’t know how to handle…

She hums London Bridge Is Falling Down in earnest. She brings us back to the present, back to loving her with all we have today. She’s so proud of this new skill. So we sing the words and she hums it over and over, London Bridge. Oh, to hear it!

I’ll always love looking at her.

Because all at once we remember she finds a way to be heard, even without words she speaks. We remember all she is learning: to understand language, follow directions, say hi and bye, show affection, button and zip, write her name, hum nursery rhymes. We remember how she surprises and dazzles us with her accomplishments, how she makes us hum with joy.

We remember God is always all good and His purpose for her life is all good. We remember He knows how to handle the future. We remember that we know He will take care of her. We remember He has her, and we have Him – our Strength, our Song, our Way-Maker, our Healer, our Faithful and True.

And so, we have every reason to hope.

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“now with patience in our suffering
perseverance in our prayers
with good reason this hope is in our hearts…”
~Sara Groves

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What reasons do you have to hope?

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14 thoughts on “Every reason, this hope

  1. I have reason to hope because I am made in God’s image and therefore I have a place in this world as much as every other person does! It might be a little harder to find, but I will find it (I have found it…) and I WILL make a difference.

  2. she is so beautiful and she is so beloved
    I cannot really explain it but one of things that makes me optimistic is that everything passes
    Sometimes when I look at the moon in the night – I think of all the mothers that have looked at the moon and worried –many mothers who are probably looking at the moon right now
    In the woods around the cabin – which were inhabited by Cherokee mothers – I sometimes imagine Cherokee mums with an autistic children
    How many mothers have worried for their kids and their own mothers .. and how that too has passed
    As I and my worries will too
    I dont think I am explaining it very well but the transient quality of life makes me a great optimist –

  3. A friend once told me that she thought perhaps my Alex was Jesus himself who had come down to test how we would treat someone who was trapped inside a physical body. I am not sure how serious she was, but I have never forgotten it.

  4. J – your words beautifully explain the love and joy a mother feels for her child…thank you for this uplifting piece and keeping me focused toward the small miracles we witness.

  5. SGM and I have both at times looked at RM with a *sigh*… it is the dreamyness in her, the dimples when she smiles, the perfect package we see when we look at her, too… but yes – there are storms brewing on the inside. But God IS good, and our faith DOES bring us back to the beauty in our children – the sunshine of humming that does break through the clouds and make us smile.

    RM is still ‘singing’ the happy birthday song – with pride – for more than three months since she realized it was such a celebratory song about HER. And it is the perfect reminder when she sings it a hundred times a day that it is STILL a celebration of her, every day. Good and bad.

    Love you, Mahi.
    xo

  6. I hope simply because I know God’s got it. He knows what He’s doing. God’s got this.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your precious moments. She really is beautiful. Both your girls are beautiful!

    xx

  7. Amen friend! EVERY reason to hope.

    Like many before me, my hope comes from faith that this world is all held together by a great, good God and even when it doesn’t feel like it, when the doubts cloud my fallen sight, He’s got it. I am wretched deep down, deserving a horrible death and yet I live, move and breathe.

    Rhema is beautiful. And she has already helped so many to SEE. To truly see a person not for what they do and say, but for who they are on the inside. Lots of soccer-playing kids have yet to learn to truly SEE people.

  8. I was feeling hopeless this week and then…GOD! That is my hope…Him. I recite Jeremiah 29:11 often to remind myself he cares for my sweet baby even more than we do…that is great hope.

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