“For love always cries, ‘Nearer, Nearer.'”
When I wake Hope in the morning she, with heavy eyes and outstretched arms, makes her daily demand.
There’s an instinct in most children when they are hurt or frightened or sleepy or sad or happy to seek out the loving arms of a parent or grandparent.
For Rhema that impulse was absent for the first 7 years of her life. She was tactile defensive, and it seemed the only time I could get close to her was when she slept.
Even now she’s still learning. Often, it’s not natural for her to seek out a hug for comfort. Other times it’s inappropriate – she climbs into laps or embraces complete strangers.
But she comes. On her own.
And I always tell her thank you. Because I get to see her up close, have her near. Because I didn’t know if she’d ever come to me or learn to show – and receive – affection.
“Let us draw near with a true heart…” Hebrews 10:22
How many times I’ve held out my hands, saying Come? Waiting for her to trust me, to find her home in my arms and a healing kiss for the ache, rest. Willing her to know the embrace will end, but I will never let her go.
I see Him doing the same; Grace calling my name while I run circles.
I am aware of The Wall. In which the bricks of disappointment, the emptiness of life, anger toward God, loss, my guilt, my failings, my debt… have stacked high.
“Our meagre faith brings leanness into our souls; we do not open our mouths wide, though God has promised to fill them… Can we not hear him say “Come, my child, and trust me…I am worthy of thy fullest confidence, cast thy cares on me. Shake thyself from the dust of thy cares, and put on thy beautiful garments of joy.” ~Spurgeon
This year I dare to believe all I need is found in Him.
I drop my sword and raise my arms like my little girls do. ‘Out of my boundless sorrow and night, Jesus, I come. Into thy freedom, gladness and light, Jesus, I come to Thee. Out of my sickness and into Thy health. Out of my wanting and into Thy wealth. Out of myself and into Thyself, Jesus I come to Thee.’
You have shattered the wall, You have made the Way.
Keep me here.
And draw me nearer still.