Nearer

“For love always cries, ‘Nearer, Nearer.'”
~Charles Spurgeon

.

When I wake Hope in the morning she, with heavy eyes and outstretched arms, makes her daily demand.

“Hug.”

There’s an instinct in most children when they are hurt or frightened or sleepy or sad or happy to seek out the loving arms of a parent or grandparent.

For Rhema that impulse was absent for the first 7 years of her life. She was tactile defensive, and it seemed the only time I could get close to her was when she slept.

Even now she’s still learning. Often, it’s not natural for her to seek out a hug for comfort. Other times it’s inappropriate – she climbs into laps or embraces complete strangers.

But she comes. On her own.

And I always tell her thank you. Because I get to see her up close, have her near. Because I didn’t know if she’d ever come to me or learn to show – and receive – affection.

“Let us draw near with a true heart…” Hebrews 10:22

How many times I’ve held out my hands, saying Come? Waiting for her to trust me, to find her home in my arms and a healing kiss for the ache, rest. Willing her to know the embrace will end, but I will never let her go.

I see Him doing the same; Grace calling my name while I run circles.

I am aware of The Wall. In which the bricks of disappointment, the emptiness of life, anger toward God, loss, my guilt, my failings, my debt… have stacked high.

“Our meagre faith brings leanness into our souls; we do not open our mouths wide, though God has promised to fill them… Can we not hear him say “Come, my child, and trust me…I am worthy of thy fullest confidence, cast thy cares on me. Shake thyself from the dust of thy cares, and put on thy beautiful garments of joy.” ~Spurgeon

This year I dare to believe all I need is found in Him.

I drop my sword and raise my arms like my little girls do. ‘Out of my boundless sorrow and night, Jesus, I come. Into thy freedom, gladness and light, Jesus, I come to Thee. Out of my sickness and into Thy health. Out of my wanting and into Thy wealth. Out of myself and into Thyself, Jesus I come to Thee.’  

You have shattered the wall, You have made the Way.

Keep me here.

And draw me nearer still.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Nearer

  1. I have been trying to drop my sword for a long time.I need to stop picking it back up. Thanks for sharing. Always on point. Always.

  2. I so needed to read these words today. Please just know that God put those words in your heart for not only yourself but for me and probably a lot of others as well. I am typing this through tear filled eyes. Thank you for allowing yourself to be used to minister to others 🙂 truly a blessing. I would love to share this with your permission 🙂

  3. Pingback: 2 words « An Armada of Love

  4. I so want to feel this way. To not be angry and bitter and worrisome and questioning. I want to just have faith. Maybe 1 day I’ll get there. I’m trying. You help me to see the beauty of God. THANKS!!!!!

  5. This whole post is beautiful, but this “This year I dare to believe all I need is found in Him.” is such a challenge and encouragement to me. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s