Slow dayz

My little Hope has been ill with croup and pneumonia. She also has asthma that flares at the least little sniffle, and last week she was one sick puppy. Fighting for air; hurting every time she took a breath.

Sweet baby.

I was sad she was sick, but overjoyed at the excuse to take off from work and spend days at home, just me and my girl. It’s been a year since I went back to work, and I enjoy my job. But I still struggle (suspect I always will) with balancing work and home. When the day is done, that outbound train can’t chug fast enough – all I want is to see them, hug them, care for them, make sure all is well.

Busy tricks me – the busier I am, the more valuable I am. Or so I think. Sometimes in all the running, I wonder why I’m running from me?

Hope’s illness forced me to slow down, and the days to be still were good medicine.

“Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

We laid on the couch and watched four Strawberry Shortcake episodes. Twice. We read books, colored and played music. I folded *and put away* laundry. I prayed in the closet. I made soup, administered meds and nebulizer treatments around the clock. I kissed her warm head every hour and savored every long minute. She let me baby her, and I love mothering her – hands down the best feeling, the best job I’ve ever had.

It just felt so good to be home. Doing the small, mundane, not-so-glorious things that I know have lasting significance. I’m a decent cook and a horrible housekeeper, but I get to spend my life serving my family, and that is an unbelievable gift.

“Mommy, what color do you get when you mix black and white?”

“Gray.”

It’s a question she asks almost daily – one day it’s what color do you get when you mix red and blue, another day it’s green and yellow, next it’s purple and orange. We’ve learned to answer the question in our sleep.

Later she presents me with a picture she’s made of herself.

“Nice, Hope. But why are you gray?”

She smiles sweetly, “Because you’re black, as they call it. And Daddy’s white.”

“As they call it??”

“And so… I’m gray!”

Oh my goodness, this kid.

“Har har har.”

Thank you, Lord, she is well.

We hang her picture, and I wish you could hear her laugh.

 

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14 thoughts on “Slow dayz

  1. I love Hope, sorry she was sick, I know what the round-the-clock nebs are like and the fear that comes with breathing issues, glad she is on the mend.

  2. Hahaha, Hope is so cute! You’re so lucky to have kids at home. 🙂 I remember a similar story from when I was about her age – I was tucked in the basket of the shopping cart, when I turned around to the gentleman behind us in line and simply stated, “You’re black”. I then looked at my hands and proclaimed, “I’m white”. He gave me a puzzled frown and looked at my dad questioningly. Then I looked at my Polish father, tanned from hours of yard work and exclaimed – “and he’s all brown!”. The two of them then both erupted into laughter. I guess skin color is a confusing concept for kids, since people come in so many hues and we only have a handful of colors that we use to describe them, lol.

  3. As usual, smiling from your words. I am working through the busyness issue as well, realizing the beauty of slow, the sweetness of letting our Father handle our days instead of trying to do it all myself. Sooo glad for you that you had this, and that she is well, of course.

  4. So glad Hope is better now. Those respiratory illness are scary no matter how many times we go through them. But I love that you got a chance to slow down and spend time with her, too. Funny, though, I would have colored her yellow…the color of sunshine. 🙂

  5. So sorry she was sick. I hope she’s feeling better?? We have sickies at our house too. Everyone except for me has a fever. So sweet of you to stop in on my blog the other day. 🙂 …and I loved hearing about her picture. What a sweet girl. 🙂

  6. If that’s true, I’m going to have some beautiful “gray” nieces and nephews someday! (My brother-in-law is from Togo, West Africa!) I can only hope they are half as beautiful as your girls. 🙂

    Really sorry to hear that she has been so sick though. Asthma can be scary. And it made me laugh when you said you watched all those Strawberry shortcake episodes, because I always get stuck watching that kind of thing when I give our little girl her nebulizer treatments. 🙂 Get well soon, Hope!

  7. Oh…I am so sorry that Hope has been sick. Thank you for reminding me to be still. I needed that reminder to today. So thank you!!! I hope that sweet Hope continues to feel better!

  8. i could just see it coming…
    tasha loves that story about the strawberry shortcake characters… she just had me tell it the other day!
    i hope mini-hope is feeling better!
    xo

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