The other day someone asked me how Rhema does at the dentist.
I said, “Oh, she’s been to the dentist.”
And I’ve been to Switzerland.
Years ago when we were stationed in Germany, we spent a weekend in Bodensee (also known as Lake Constance), where three countries meet: Germany, Austria and Switzerland. We sat at outside a little bakery eating our not-sweet-at-all pastries, and I could literally see Switzerland from where I sat.
“Let’s go, B.”
“Switzerland! I’ve never been!”
“We can’t go. Your passport expired.”
I dug out my passport.
“Just a few days ago! C’mon. Maybe they won’t notice. And even if they do, it’s Switzerland for heaven’s sake. You know how neutral they are about these things! They won’t mind.”
He just stared at me.
“Of course, they’ll notice. And of course they’ll mind.”
“Oh please? Let’s just try. I’ll bat my eyelashes.”
I begged and pleaded and batted my eyelashes until I somehow (amazingly) convinced the husband to try to get me into Switzerland on my expired passport. Yes, the man must have been crazy… in love. (Ha!)
At the border, it turned out they did notice. And they did mind.
The mean old border police dude said, No way, Jose. (Only in Swiss.) But in order to exit we had to drive a little loop from the entry point to the exit point. It took about 5 minutes to drive our little loop, and during that time we were in Switzerland!
And when we tried to get back into Germany, the border patrol decided to give us some trouble. Tried to bribe us and make us pay 50 euro to get back in, and Brandon wasn’t having that. So we were detained there for about 15 minutes while Brandon and the German Bundeswehr duked it out. I definitely count those 15 minutes as time I spent in Switzerland.
The last time I took Rhema to the dentist on my own… well, we certainly drove there. We even did one minute in the waiting room, before she decided to run for her life. And then we spent about ten minutes wrestling in the parking lot. And somehow we made it back inside, and she gripped the door frames and screamed bloody murder at the dentist’s chair while the dentist and I discussed scheduling her next appointment at a nearby hospital with general anesthesia just so that one day he can actually look inside her mouth. All in all we were there about 720 seconds.
But she totally went to the dentist.
And I totally went to Switzerland.