It totally counts

The other day someone asked me how Rhema does at the dentist.
I said, “Oh, she’s been to the dentist.”
And I’ve been to Switzerland.
Years ago when we were stationed in Germany, we spent a weekend in Bodensee (also known as Lake Constance), where three countries meet: Germany, Austria and Switzerland. We sat at outside a little bakery eating our not-sweet-at-all pastries, and I could literally see Switzerland from where I sat.

Rhema (age 1) and I under the Swiss flag. On the German side.

“Let’s go, B.”
“Go where?”
“Switzerland! I’ve never been!”
“We can’t go. Your passport expired.”
I dug out my passport.
“Just a few days ago! C’mon. Maybe they won’t notice. And even if they do, it’s Switzerland for heaven’s sake. You know how neutral they are about these things! They won’t mind.”
He just stared at me.
“Of course, they’ll notice. And of course they’ll mind.”
“Oh please? Let’s just try. I’ll bat my eyelashes.”
I begged and pleaded and batted my eyelashes until I somehow (amazingly) convinced the husband to try to get me into Switzerland on my expired passport. Yes, the man must have been crazy… in love. (Ha!)
At the border, it turned out they did notice. And they did mind.
The mean old border police dude said, No way, Jose. (Only in Swiss.) But in order to exit we had to drive a little loop from the entry point to the exit point. It took about 5 minutes to drive our little loop, and during that time we were in Switzerland!
And when we tried to get back into Germany, the border patrol decided to give us some trouble. Tried to bribe us and make us pay 50 euro to get back in, and Brandon wasn’t having that. So we were detained there for about 15 minutes while Brandon and the German Bundeswehr duked it out. I definitely count those 15 minutes as time I spent in Switzerland.
The last time I took Rhema to the dentist on my own… well, we certainly drove there. We even did one minute in the waiting room, before she decided to run for her life. And then we spent about ten minutes wrestling in the parking lot. And somehow we made it back inside, and she gripped the door frames and screamed bloody murder at the dentist’s chair while the dentist and I discussed scheduling her next appointment at a nearby hospital with general anesthesia just so that one day he can actually look inside her mouth. All in all we were there about 720 seconds.
But she totally went to the dentist.
And I totally went to Switzerland.

14 thoughts on “It totally counts

  1. Ha! I can so relate to this. And you reminded me that I’ve SO been to Paris…if you count a delay on the tarmac at Orly? 😉 I love that you can find the humor in these moments. Laugh or cry, right? Laughter is good for the soul. xo

  2. Too funny, once when I was a kid my dad pulled over so I could put my foot on the ground in Vermont where i hadn’t been. We were in Vermont for about 3 minutes.

  3. Ben’s dentist is awsome. he holds a cup of water, gets on his knees, and peers in Ben’s mouth while he brushes.
    Ben likes him enough to let the dentist take a brief turn at brushing.
    Ben will also need to be sedated 😦 to do any real work, but we feel like we’re setting ground work.
    Blessed to have a dentist who will got he extra mile.

  4. And you still had to make the full co-pay for those 720 seconds, right?

    Dentistry and autism = my pet peeve! Still hoping for a great dental practice for my son, somewhere, somehow.

    Meanwhile we save our pennies for the annual hospital / general anesthesia experience.

  5. So great!
    And by the way, it’s not necessarily much easier with the NT child…my Katie screamed so much and took so long to get cleaned…the only thing that would comfort her at all was a random duck book that was in the waiting room…the dentist ended up giving her that book.

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