When Rhema sneezes you would think someone yelled “Incoming!” Because I know I have .05, maybe .06 seconds to get to her. I run like a crazed woman, tripping over stuff, stubbing my toe and howling with tissue in hand, “Wwwwaaaiiitttt!!!”
usually always too late.
She puts the heel of her hand to her nose and in one quick motion pushes all the snot up her forehead. I’ve never seen anything like it. The end result is first a slick, then a very crusty forehead. And a hair style featuring mucus mousse in the front.
Due to seasonal allergies and a little cold thrown in, Rhema’s nose has been a most prolific slime factory. And truthfully snot is really all I can think about these days.
The only way to handle the problem is to be armed with wipes or a wet cloth at all times. In order to 1) protect yourself and 2) wash her face. Not that washing her face is ever an easy task. She hides, ducks, fights or laughs uncontrollably when I try to clean her.
On the morning drive I realized with horror that I was out of wipes. At Hope’s school we ran into the bathroom and I used wet paper towels to wipe her face. But as we walked down the hallway she sneezed.
We ran back into the bathroom and did the wet paper towel thing again. I still needed to drop her off at school and catch the train to work. But I knelt down in front of her to try and get a good look at her beautiful face, which she loves to hide. She came close…
And just as she brought her forehead to mine I saw the big thick yellow gob o’ goo sitting on the front of her hair. Time stood still. I remember thinking, ‘That big thick yellow gob o’ goo is chillin’ up there. Someone get our friend here a good book to read.’ And just like that she transferred the big thick yellow gob o’ goo to my hair.
I think I screamed.
In the evening when Brandon came home he commented,
“Honey, your face looks so… shiny.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or his daughter, but I informed him,
“It’s snot sheen.”
Of course, it is.