Simple prayer


On several occasions when dropping her off or picking her up at school, I have seen red, bloody scratches on her teacher’s neck and chest.

In the past week, three different teachers have brought her to me at the end of the day, bearing cuts and marks on their necks.

 “Oh no. Did Rhema- ?”

I already know the answer.

And it kills me. Kills me.

For weeks we’ve tried understanding what is triggering these moments of aggression, how we can re-direct her, prevent this from getting bigger. We still don’t quite know what to.

I feel like I can take the communication paralysis, sensory issues, poop issues, sleeping problems, transition troubles, seizure disorder. But this? Hurting others and/or hurting herself. It’s the one thing I’ve always said I just could not handle.

Like the father desperate to save his son, I’ll do the only thing I know to do.

I’ll bring her to Him.

“Lord, here she is. I lift her to you. You know all about her, every part. Please help my girl. Please stop her from grabbing, lunging, hurting the people around her. Bring peace to her body and calm to her soul. And help us know how to help her.”


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6,7



29 thoughts on “Simple prayer

  1. Thank you for helping me not feel so alone with my son’s abusive behaviors. He’s only six right now, but I worry about down the road, when others might not be so willing to shrug it off.

  2. I’m glad you shared this so we can stand with you in prayer. I am going to put a post-it note on my monitor with Rhema’s name on it to remind me to pray for this each day. Looking forward to seeing how God reveals himself through this tough struggle (it seems to be where He does his best work!).

  3. This is sad. This is beautiful. It is filled with love, and it is filled with wisdom. Sometimes, the answers to our children’s behaviors can be found. sometimes, they just aren’t at peace. i0I pray for peace for us all.

    our older son wen through a stage similar to this. his school setting just wasn’t working for him. he needed a change in setting/approach. I would hope this turns out to be a stage for you as well.
    My best to you all.

  4. Thank you for sharing this. This is a road I walk with my son, have been for quite some time. It comes and goes. It’s heartbreaking, terrifying, and I often feel so very Helpless! Thank you for the reminder that God Knows Our kids, Holds them in HIS Hand, and that even when WE don’t know the answers HE Does. Standing With you in Prayer, for your Precious Girl, and for my sweet Boy.

  5. And prayers as well for those who have been harmed, hurt or startled by our children and continue to be calm, patient and loving with them.

  6. Hardest thing as a parent is to feel powerless to help your child. For us the answer came, after a lot of prayer, in something I did not really believe in. Changing my son’s diet & adding pharmaceutical grade supplements. It was very difficult for me because, (1) I don’t like to cook, (2) I had never learned how, & (3) I didn’t believe in supplements. I worked most of my adult life for doctor’s who tell their patients one thing & then smoke & live off fast food!
    But desite my lack of faith, drastically changing our diet & adding pharmaceutical grade supplements (especially omegas) has been a God send!!! At only 8 yrs old now, my son can sit in a restaurant, be told “No” at the supermarket or toy store & not endanger or embarrass himself (that’s a big one for us) & even play with others & be disciplined when he doesn’t play well. He still has moments where he does “brake down” beyond acceptable limits, but they are few!!
    Just want you to know there is hope & of course God answers prayers, but sometimes the answer is hard to accept. Or at least in my case it was not the “easy fix” I was praying for. It has been very hard to change. We still cheat occasionally, but it is rarely worth it. So slowly, very slowly, new habits have replaced the old.
    Hope all this helps. Praying for your beautiful girl!
    (PS our diet is now gluten-free.)

  7. That picture hangs in our hallway. A visual reminder of my place in my girls life. Praying for peace, endurance, and strength. (and whatever else I do not know how to voice. Romans 8:26)

  8. My son went through a similar thing when he was younger. Things change. And these little ones do too.. this worry will turn in to the next unfortunately. But… that said, my son got better. As he matures he is learning to not do that. I hope the same for Rhema. It is a hard struggle though in both mind and body! Keep your chin up! Sending out hugs. It’s not easy but it WILL get better!

  9. Pingback: Pillows and unbreakable love « Autism In a Word

  10. There’s more to this that I don’t know if I will be able to express, and it’s about two things, I think. The first is the gratitude I feel for people who put themselves in our lives voluntarily and stay; not only the people who might get scratched, but the ones who sacrifice dinners with their own families or pay for their own professional development out of pocket because they’ve dedicated themselves to really partnering with our children and with us. “Getting in the pit with us,” my mother would say.

    Secondly, it’s the reminder that they do that not simply because they are amazing people who want to be self-sacrificing and give, give, give. In doing it, they get something too. I am sure that while we don’t wish these things on them, on some level it’s a price they are willing to pay to feel alive and human.

    I interviewed a college student this week for a PCA position. She said that she worked intensively with kids with special needs in high school and loved it. Now she’s volunteering in a special needs class in a public school, but it’s just not doing it for her. She really feels like her life is missing something because she’s got more to give and it’s not being used. It took all I had not to break down at the beauty of that when she said it.

    So I guess I mean to say, yes, of course we pray that these behaviors, which seem and are painful, fall away. But also, let’s celebrate together that they bring things out in all of us which make us feel more connected and more human toward ourselves and others. Thanks for sharing your story.

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