Me, my three, His will

In our Bible study lesson this week we read Ephesians 1:1, Paul’s introduction of himself.  In many of his letters, he uses the same opening line: “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, by the will of God…”

My study guide poses the question: Who are you “by the will of God”?

I am reminded of this post.

The older girl is wide awake at 2:00 in the morning, and I help her in the bathroom. She hums and slaps her leg repeatedly. Her fingers, her skin, her incredible eyes, the mole above her lip – I am still amazed by it all. In the dark of night she pulls her pajama bottoms all the way up to her chest and I hug her tight, savor her innocence. She’s growing so big and tall, her body is changing. My babbling girl approaching tween-hood. Oh my Lord, what will I do? I still believe in God’s good purpose for her life, that she’s been given a special way to bless others and reflect His glory.

The younger girl dances and talks and sings through every day. Clever, funny, little star. As she grows to understand the world is not all castles and fairies, how will I teach her, how will I cultivate her beautiful, open heart? What will I leave behind for her? I still believe in God’s good purpose, that she’s been given a special way to bless others and reflect His glory.

The husband, in the midst of crazy weeks of work and school and a surprise party and house guests, he finds quiet ways to connect. Just-because-flowers on the table, a compliment, a touch on the elbow. I nearly tore my house down, my marriage down with my own hands. But he is brave enough to let me know that I mean something to him, more than the rest. It’s the little things, he lifts me higher and higher. How can I support him, love him better? He is God’s good purpose for me, and I still believe this marriage can be a blessing and a reflection of His glory.

For this life just as it is, Lord, thank you.

I am wife. I am mother. I am drowning in laundry. I am lunch packer, puke and poop cleaner-upper, gluten-free-dairy-free-nut-free-egg-free-soy-free cook, human snack dispenser, butt-wiper, junky mini-van driver, teacher, listener, best friend, help-mate. By the will of God. For the glory of God.