Steady my heart

“[She] will have no fear of bad news; [her] heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Psalm 112:7

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We’ve known for a few weeks that I would likely be facing surgery. On the morning we are to meet with the surgeon, I feel panicked and overwhelmed. Not about my health problems or the idea of the surgery itself. It’s the recovery period that worries me. How does a mother of two little girls, one who has so many needs, recover for six weeks???

And it’s like I asked the question out loud because this morning, my Rhema seems to fight me at every turn. She flops, she grabs, she hits. Brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, getting her to come down the stairs – all major battles.

It takes so much to care for her. It takes so much to care for her! That’s all I can think.

Gotta fill my head with something else.

Scripture I’ve known for forever suddenly becomes a lifeline:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6,7

Lord, help us through this period. And thank you!

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It’s a great appointment. I laugh at the husband, glad he’s with me. He’s not trying to be funny, he can’t help being his scrupulous, nerdy, kinda cute self. Not ten minutes have passed and Brandon has engaged the good doctor into a discussion about socialized medicine and Rhema’s various EEG tests. I shoot him a look. Dude. This is about me. About chopping out my insides. Focus.

Due to my circumstances, it will be a complicated procedure. We set the date. Total hysterectomy three weeks from now.

We step outside into the cold sunshine. The ancient words are so true.

I feel total peace.

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25 thoughts on “Steady my heart

  1. Oh, sweetie. I really want to be there for you. I’m so jealous that scripture works for you. I’ll keep trying. In the meantime, please let me be of service to you and your family. I can help with Rhema. I have experience with my friend’s daughter, okay. You’re gonna do great. And by the way, hilarious about Brandon. I can totally picture that interaction. 🙂

  2. Praying for peace of mind, for guidance for the doctors during surgery and for a swift and smooth recovery. God will make sure Rhema and the rest of your family are well taken care of.

    And you need to make sure to accept any and help that is offered to you young lady! ( I am saying this with one hand on my hip and the other shaking my finger at you!)

  3. I second the request for a date. Oh, I wish I lived near you and could help physically. But the girls and I will send prayers and prayers.

  4. How I wish I lived closer to you! Praying God’s help comes to you in so many ways that you will be able to smile and say, “I told you so” to those who don’t believe! Praying healing as well. gently hugs

  5. I live nearby and would be delighted to help out however I can– meals? Errand runs? Laundry? (I’m highly experienced in the poop department.) Anything you think will be most helpful. I’ll try to track you down at our next Bible Study. 🙂

  6. I know that the Lord will take good care of you. You have got to be one of His favorites. 🙂

    But I want to help take care of something, anything for you and your family. Is there a dinner delivery service near you, J? So many of us care and we WANT to help! xoxoxo

  7. So proud of you twinny twin! Thanks to all the lovely expressions of prayers and encouragement — you all help so much through your love. We’ll get through this and give God the glory in his myriad blessings. Our hearts are full with gratitude to Him and you! Maybe I’ll get to see some of you as we tend to the little Russell beauties…oh and the older, super attractive Mommy one too ;0)!

  8. wish i lived closer, mama. i would totally move in!! thank God for your fam and the rest of your support network. God is totally gonna hook you up! just wait!!!

  9. Pingback: Uterus Cake « Autism In a Word

  10. I too wish we lived closer. Yes, you said it, how to recover w/ two little ones who need you so much? His grace is sufficient. I will pray for peace, for you and your girls and Brandon. Strange how otherworldly peace has come over M when I have been sick–she somehow (hmmm) knows when to play quietly and not ask too much (only when my sickness is dire, ha, wish that were more regular! no I don’t). I want to send some kind of treat, though nothing can hold a candle to that CAKE!

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