There are so many studies out there about what causes autism and new findings are popping up almost daily. I tend to take them with a grain of salt. It seems the majority of them are linked to mothers and what we did or didn’t do. Emily Willingham of Forbes put it this way:
“Having children close together, having them in a certain order, being a certain age, having antibodies, having children in summer, having wombs and gestating embryonic and fetal humans in them, using Clomid, IVF, terbutaline, or labor induction, being pregnant near freeways, donating bad mitochondria to offspring, partnering with older fathers, passing genes to our children, eating, treating depression, getting an infection during pregnancy, including the flu, not getting an infection, being depressed, or behaving like refrigerators.”
A study (I did take seriously) came out a week before Rhema’s 10th birthday that suggests autism starts in the womb. The brain tissue reveals “patches of disorganization in the cortex” of children with autism. ‘Organization of the cortex begins in the second trimester of pregnancy. “So something must have gone wrong at or before that time…”
And I don’t understand it all or even know what I think and feel about it all, but there is this:
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day. ~Psalm 139:13-16
And in the victorious, precious, beautiful times and in the most bitter, trying, heartbreaking times of our lives with autism, God’s good purpose remains. All of these days ordained for me to be their mother and for them to be my girls… yes, God is good.
I don’t always see the good. I’d rewind the clock in a heartbeat, do whatever I could to make my baby an ‘organized cortex.’
But my vision has always been limited.
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in his life.” ~John 9:1-3
Everything about her is a miracle.