Blessed mama

So thankful today.

My Hope girl made Mother’s Day gifts for me at school – including a lollipop flower that she only licked once. She dramatically declared her undying love for me all weekend: “Mommy, I love you so much. I couldn’t stop loving you even if I tried!!!”

Um, thanks Hope.

She drew me this:

Hope has rainbow hair, and I look… bloated. (Those dots are our bellybuttons.)


This child brings me heart-bursting JOY. Incredible girl, she is.


On my very first Mother’s Day as a mother, I was in rough shape.

Husband deployed to Iraq. Colicky 7-week old baby who cried and cried and never seemed to sleep. But on Mother’s Day she slept for 6 hours straight, and when she awakened, I picked her up and twirled her around.

“You gave me a Mother’s Day present!!! Wow! Thank you, Rhema. Thank you for letting me sleep!”

I believed that somehow she just knew, even as an infant, that it was Mother’s Day. And she wanted to show me some love, give me what I needed.

(And it definitely was a rare gift. Seven years later and she still doesn’t sleep through the night.)

This day she blessed me, yet again, with the sweetest gift.

About 4 in the morning, she was up. So I took her to the bathroom and brought her back to her bed.

As I rose to leave, her arms reached out and caught me around the neck, and she drew me near.

I thought it was a trick. Sometimes she’ll do this. She’ll draw you close and then bite off your hair. Seriously, it doesn’t feel good.

So I was leery.

But she just held me there for a minute, forehead to forehead, nose to nose.

I treasured each second and prayed she knew how much I love her.

I felt her little mouth against my cheek. No pucker. Just the lightest touch.

I sat back.

“Rhema, did you just give your Mommy a kiss??????”

She made a clicking sound repeatedly.

“You did, didn’t you?!”

Incredible! She is.

I believe that somehow she just knows, even now, that it’s Mother’s Day. And she wanted to show me some love, give me what I needed.

I am one blessed mama.

Mother Stuff

I remember the first time I dragged myself to a “support group meeting.”

I was a new special needs mom, and the whole night, I could not take my eyes off the other mothers.


Their hair was combed.

They seemed sane.

They were organized.

They were knowledgeable.

They were strong.

They were beautiful.

They could cry.

They could laugh.

They were still standing.


I remember thinking, “Oh.”

 Maybe…  just maybe… I can do this.

And that was a dose of hope and courage and purpose I greatly needed.


So thankful I get to experience this fierce, protective, undying, unconditional, heart-soaring, heart-wrenching, give-your-life-for, crazy mother love.

We know, there is nothing like it. 

And to think that God, who is Love, created this kind of love. (1 John 4:7-12)

And to think that He loves my girls even more than I do (Luke 11:13). Boggles the mind.


As I sit in the waiting area of Futures Behavior Therapy Center, I meet all kinds of mothers. Younger, older, tired, brave, moms of multiples, mom beating breast cancer, mom with a mission. Our children so different and so alike; they span the spectrum. Experience links us.

I am particularly honored to be a part of this club.


Autism File Magazine

My “Runaway Bunny”

We Moms know that there is nothing we would not do to initiate and foster our relationships with our children. We try to keep them close. My little Rhema likes to run away into her own world, but I will never stop beckoning, urging her to come and share her world with me. In the same way, we have a God who pursues us and loves us with an unrelenting love.

From Margaret Wise Brown’s The Runaway Bunny

Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away. So he said to his mother, “I am running away.”

“If you run away,” said his mother, “I will run after you. For you are my little bunny.”

“If you run after me,” said the little bunny, “I will become a fish in a trout stream and I will swim away from you.”

“If you become a fish in a trout stream,” said his mother, “I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you.”

“If you become a fisherman,” said the little bunny, “I will become a rock on the mountain high above you.”

“If you become a rock on the mountain high above me,” said his mother, “I will be a mountain climber, and I will climb to where you are.”

The little bunny said, “I will be a crocus in a hidden garden.”

“If you become a crocus in a hidden garden,” said his mother, “I will be a gardener. And I will find you.”

“If you are a gardener and find me,” said the little bunny, “I will be a bird and fly away from you.”

“If you become a bird and fly away from me,” said his mother, “I will be a tree that you come home to.”

The little bunny said, “I will join the circus and fly away on a flying trapeze.”

“If you go flying on a flying trapeze,” said his mother, “I will be a tightrope walker, and I will walk across the air to you.”

“If you become a tightrope walker and walk across the air,” said the bunny, “I will become a little boy and run into a house.”

“If you become a little boy and run into a house,” said the mother bunny, “I will become your mother and catch you in my arms and hug you.”

“Shucks,” said the bunny, “I might just as well
stay where I am and be your little bunny.”

And so he did.
“Have a carrot,” said the mother bunny.