something i want to say

In 2017, Rhema moved from the letterboard to the keyboard.

Some of our favorite Rhema quotes this year:

to you i am a girl who found her voice but i am a bird who has taken to the sky .
i am a hyena who laughs at the world .
i am a frog who jumps for joy .
i am an aard vark who . play s all day . with worms .
i am a lion who rulles the day. 
i am a giraffe standing talle r than ever .
i am free.

*

Only receiving answers to prayers does absolutely nothing
To notice how much God shows his love we have to learn to trust when the answer is no

*

“I do not want to cure autism
Autism only is a part of me
that I like
and sometimes I do not really like
but I am fearfully and wonderfully made
so I dont want a cure
I want to be me”

*

Something I want to say is nothing to say is ok. So many people think that they need to speak but sometimes silence is golden. I was silent for twelve years and I learned so much by listening. To have no voice taught me to cherish words and I try to use them carefully. That is all I have to say today.

*

something i want to say is just because i cannot speak does not mean i dont hear . i hear everything people say to me or about me . i may not show understanding in my face but i know and understand . not a word said escapes my so strong ears . so remember to speak kindly to everyone . love rhema .

 *

a dream my heart began inside 
that light made joy somewhere in the sky
my dream can soar and scale the heights
from heaven to the earth below
so I am in the clouds above
the somewhere into hell I really only visited
the armies of angels lifted me to my dreams again

*

Something I want to say is not having a voice sounds horrible but I learned to listen. That is how I learned so much. By listening to everything around me. The radio the tv, conversations all around. Only I knew that I understood it and one day I would be able to show it. I am thankful for that time as hard as it was.

*

 something i want to say is i like people who really think before they make judgements about autistic people . forget the differ ences and see me as a very caring girl who knows that i do strange things . i so am just like everyone else . i am doing what makes it possible to do the day . history repeats itself and really every minute i am hoping you see me for me 

*

Before I could use my board I could not tell people how I felt
what I understood
or if I was hurting.
They often treated me like I was a baby. This was so frustrating to me but I hoped one day they would know the real me.
Someone once said I was stupid because I could not talk. This hurt so much.
Only now can I look back and see that it made me stronger.
Now I have my voice and lots of people read my words. This makes me so happy.
The silence is over.
The pain is gone
and I am free.

*

I want teachers to know that I am smart even though I might be slow on my board. Sometimes I can’t seem to make my mind slow down but I am always thinking. I want teachers to give students like me a chance to really get a quality education. Someone said to get a high school diploma you need to have taken certain classes. I have not. But I hope that will change so I can become a scientist and use my mind to help others. I think I have a lot to offer to the world. This is my hope.

*

I am so happy for my birthday. To be a teenager is a dream come true. I am excited for the future and I know God will help me suceed. I am confident that He has good plans for my life.

 

*

something i want to say is that autism acceptance starts with people believing that everyone deserves a chance to access a fair education. i hope to help other autistic people like me become advocates because this is the only way to make our voices heard. i hope people will listen to our words because we have a lot to say to the world about what it means to be autistic. many people think they knowbut they do not. autism is a complicated disorder. not everyone is impacted as much as me. but i am smart and i hear music in numbers and trees and grass. i am happy to be autistic even though its hard most of the time. so much of my words come from God. he is helping me live this life. to have my voice heard means the world to me. to have people encourage me also means the world. to have a company of encouragers is the best gift. thank you for listening to me.

 *

i hope to be a scientist one day. i hope to go to high school and college one day too. so many possibilities are open to me now that i have my voice. 
not being able to go to whatever school i want makes me so sad. i should have access to the same education as anyone else.
i know i need lots of support but i believe it is worth it.
someone once said the best students are the ones who really want to be there. that’s me.
so i will never stop trying to get the best education i can. i owe it to me and my family and other autistic people who have yet to find their voices.

 *

i want you to know that i am autistic and that is something i am happy and sad about. i love that God made me this way even though it is so hard sometime. i can hear music in trees and grass and numbers have sounds that make me so happy. i also can remem ber just about every thing i hear . the reason i said it makes me sad is because i cant talk with my mouth and that is so hard to not have the ability to just speak whenever. i know it seems like i am not smart but i am . i believe one day i will show the world that autistic people are smart and want the same things as anyone else. thank you for being patient with me while i learn to sit in class. i want to have an education that helps me reach my goals. thank you for listening.

*

some thing i want to say is not so many people think about autism like a gift. but i do. i experience so many thing s like colors and sound s and emotions and dimensions of time i n a way that only i can. this make s me so happy . i see details i n flimsy grass blades and green caterpill ars . i can rem ember almost every sound my ears hear. it is store d in my helper head. i can think about my autism as a gift and that hellps me on days that are hard. the bible say s that to be content is a secret and i think i am learning contentment in my aut ism. 

i feel to awesome for words be cause its the day god has made . i cant for get his love for me . do you know so mu ch love i n any o the r. i do nt eith er.

 *

so mething i want to say is my grand pa died this week. he resides in heaven now . i came to his house and looked for him but he is not here . he is with his savior and he is so happy . i miss him so much even though i dont cry . he always told me he loved me and was proud of me . have you ever jumped on a trampoline my grandpa gave me mine . he read his bible every morning . he will always be in my heart . love rhema .

 when i was little my grandpa took me for a ride in the 4-wheeler . hope was with us . she was counting deer . then grandpa said theres dinner for all of us . i thought it was so funny and i still remember it . that was grandpa .
love rhema .
i must create some thing good for my life . that is really what grandpa would want . i pray for god to hellp me . to do it . every day .

i am thankful for my autism because it teaches me to trust God . My body is not something i can trust but the God who made me is . he not only made me autistic he made me not able to speak with my mouth but with my heart . The gift of my voice is my sweetest song of praise. i want to sing and sing . i not only want to sing i want to share my song with the world . my hope is in the lord . i thank him . for he is always good .

*

to be autistic is to be a gorilla in a tutu. your clothes never fit quite right .

to be autistic is to be a dinosaur making large footprints on the earth . your body is not for this age .

to be autistic is to be an eagle with too strong eyes . your eyes see the miniscule details others miss.

to be autistic is to be a hippo with birds on your back. you still feel the itch.

to be autistic is to be a lizard who basks in the sun. you feel the heat and it invigorates you and drains you.

to be autistic is to be a telescope seeing the world with microscopic detail .

to be autistic is to be a megaphone every thing is too loud .

to be autistic is to be a beautiful idea of how to experience the world

to be autistic is to be a butterfly ready to fly .

this is me.

 

love, rhema

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5 thoughts on “something i want to say

  1. this is incredible! you give me hope.

    you see, I am a mommy of four children with autism. You give me hope one day each of my children will be able to let me peek into their minds.

    Rhema… your mommy is the kind of mommy I want to be for my kids.

  2. Ok Mom, it’s time for another person in your family to write a book (hint, hint). I LOVE Rhema’s voice, her sense of humor, her artistic way of speaking and her heart.

    Thank you for sharing Rhema. I love being able to rejoice with you!!!

  3. Rhema! First, what a neat name! But I guess that is only fitting as you are a really neat girl. ( I have three daughters) I love all your poems, and insights. Wow, you gave me insights into autism. And you have a great opportunity and a great responsibility God has given you. You can paint the picture of a little of what great vision God has given you of everything. God bless, I know you already have made an impact on the world and hope for even greater things for you. Prayers and Thank You for sharing!

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